Chapter Eleven

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or any of its characters. They all belong to Stephenie Meyer.



EPOV

I pulled into our driveway and noticed Alice's car was still parked by the curb. I took a few deep breaths and prepared myself for the storm that I was about to walk in to. Yes, I am not gonna lie. My sister scares the shit out of me. And knowing that she has been here, all day, talking to my wife about the fucked up shit I pulled recently, has me wishing I could run upstairs and grab my cup before knocking.

I walked slowly up the walkway towards the front door. I felt stupid ringing the door bell at my own house but I sure as hell wasn't going to barge in there like I owned the place, even if I did.

I rang the doorbell and stuck my hands in my pockets and waited. Not two seconds later the door swung open and my sister was standing there. Oh shit.

"You know you did a really stupid thing," Alice said.

Her hand raised, "Shit, Alice," I said, as I flinched away, thinking she was going to hit me. "Don't punch me." You wouldn't think someone so damn tiny could scare you but I had been punched by Alice before and I wasn't really looking forward to that again. I looked back up at her when I heard her snort slightly.

"Jesus Edward, I wasn't going to punch you although you deserve a whole hell of a lot worse than that, believe me," she mumbled under her breath. I looked up at her, she was still slightly pissed. But she also looked sad.

"I just wanted to come by and talk to Bella for a little bit," I told Alice. She stood in the door way and blocked my path inside.

"Well she doesn't want you here. She's not ready to talk to you. So just leave, Edward," she said, trying to shut the door in my face. I stuck my foot in the way to prevent her from doing that.

“Alice, you can’t kick me off my own fucking property. Now let me in and let me talk to my wife," I yelled at her. I’m pretty sure the entire neighborhood heard us right now, but I really didn't care.

"Oh, so now you want to talk to your wife? What's wrong? Was Tanya too busy tonight? Did she have another patient she had to take care of?" Rose asked me as she came into view. I was taken aback by the amount of venom in Rose's voice as she spoke to me.

"It wasn't like that Rose, and you know it. You know I would never do something like that!" Rose was standing in front of Alice now, Alice had placed a hand on her shoulder. Thank God someone around here was calm and collected.

"Edward, Rose. Bella really doesn't need to hear you guys arguing right now," she told us, then looked at me, "why don't you take off Edward and give her some more time." I shook my head no.

"That's bullshit, Ali. Let me inside so I can talk to my wife. We need to talk about this," I said, trying to push my way into my own damn house.

"Edward, do not make me call Charlie right now," Rose told me, holding her phone in her hand, "you know you don't need the chief hearing about this right now." I backed off a bit and nodded my head. Because God knows I didn't need my father-in-law finding out about this right now and certainly not in this way.

"Now leave, cool off. Both of you need time to think. Just give her some time Edward," Alice said, still standing in the doorway, blocking my entrance.

"Fine," I told them both, "I will give her some time. But I am not giving up. We need to talk. We have to talk." I turned around and started walking back towards my car. Alice finally walked back into the house once she saw I was actually leaving.

"And Edward," Rose said. I turned around to look back at her. "I would appreciate it if you wouldn't go back to our house tonight. Bella plans on stopping by tomorrow and I know she won't do it if she knows you are there."

"Alright then. Just let her know I'll be at my parents. You know, in case she needs anything."

"I can do that," she told me and shut the door.

I drove to my parents’ house; thankfully they were already in bed. I really didn't feel like explaining this whole mess to them right now. I’d had enough enlightenment tonight. I quietly walked upstairs and made my way into my childhood bedroom. Lizzie liked to spend time in here when she stayed with my parents. There were pictures in here of Bella and me from our early days on up to senior prom and graduation. Lizzie loved to listen to anyone tell her the stories about how Bella and I met and explain each detail of the pictures of us that were in my room.

After taking a shower and dressing for bed, I laid down on the bed, with my hands behind my head and stared at the ceiling. I went over everything that had happened in the past few weeks. Bella and I had finally begun to talk again. We were making progress. Finally, I felt like I had control of my life again. But then she found out about Tanya. I admit I probably could have handled the situation a little better, like insisting on meeting in an office setting, or better yet, maybe even telling my wife that I was speaking to someone. I had reacted stupidly and now I was paying for it.

"You stupid, fucking asshole," I muttered to myself. I rolled over and tried to stop my mind from racing so I could get some sleep. But all I could think about was what was going to happen next. Was Bella going to leave me? Was our marriage ruined now because of my stupid actions? Would she ask me for a divorce? I could literally feel my heart break at the thought of not having Bella in my life anymore.

I tossed and turned half the night but evidently fell asleep at some point, because I was now waking up to the bright sun filtering in through the blinds on the window. And my phone was ringing on the bedside stand. I sat up quickly and opened the phone without even looking at the caller ID.

"Hello? Bella?" I said, eagerly hoping it was my wife. I prayed that she would finally want to speak with me. I hated leaving our home last night without actually talking to her. But what Rose said did actually make sense. She probably did still need some time.

"Good Morning to you too, Edward." Tanya said, laughing. I suddenly felt very guilty for even talking to her on the phone. Where had this guilt been at before?

"Oh yeah, good morning Tanya. Ummmmm, what can I do for you?" I asked her, then yawned very loudly. I had the day off, thankfully, because I didn't really get much rest at all last night.

"I was wondering if we were still on for coffee this afternoon. I know you're off today, so I just wanted to check on the time?" she asked.

Shit.

I had totally forgotten about today. Which was highly unusual for me. I had been looking forward to the days I was meeting with Tanya. But suddenly, I felt guilty, and had more important things on my mind.

"Yeah, about that. I don't think today is a good idea. We probably shouldn't," I told her, rubbing the back of my neck with my hand and hoping she didn't ask why. I really didn't feel like explaining my whole fucked up situation another time, to yet another person.

"Oh, okay then. Did something come up?" she asks me, curiously.

"You could say that. Bella found out I had been seeing you and needless to say, I don't think she would be too thrilled with the idea of me meeting you today for coffee." The line stayed quiet for a few moments and I wondered what she was thinking.

"What do you mean Bella found out? Hasn't she known all along that we were meeting? Edward, did Bella not know that you were talking with me?" She asked, shock evident in her voice.

"No, she didn't. I never told her. At the time, I really didn't see a reason to," I said quietly.

"Jesus Christ Edward! What the hell were you thinking?" she yelled at me. Great, another woman in my life pissed at me.

"I honestly don't know what the fuck I was thinking. And now there are all these rumors around the hospital that you and I are dating because some people saw us at the coffee shop several times. And some people even think we are sleeping together."

"Shit, Edward. What did you think people were going to think? We are constantly going to get coffee together. I have been in your office alone with you. What would that look like to you as an outsider?" she asked me, sighing at the very end.

"I wasn't really thinking about how it looked. I knew it was honest so I really didn't think too much about it. But now that I look back at it, I realize how it might have come off to some people."

"Look Edward, I am really glad that I was able to help you. But I can't do this anymore." she said.

"Can't do what anymore, Tanya? We can just try and meet, maybe in my father's office or something. He knows about everything now so I am sure if he knew how much you were helping me, that he wouldn't mind."

"No, Edward. I should have realized how unprofessional I was being. I was having coffee dates with you for Christ's sake! We should have been doing office visits from the beginning whether I had an office or not. I should have realized how this would come off. You aren't the only one who screwed up."

"But, we can do office meetings from now on. I don't have to stop seeing you."

"Edward, I have only just recently gotten my own marriage back on track. I don't need hospital rumors about a sexual affair breaking down what I have worked so hard to build back up. "

"Tanya, please don't do this. You have helped me so much. I need you." Tears had begun to fall from my eyes now.

"No, Edward. You need your wife. I suggest that you concentrate on fixing this mess that you caused. Goodbye Edward." she said, before disconnecting the line. I sobbed loudly now and threw my phone to the bed.

I had single handedly ruined what was, I thought to be, a great friendship. And probably, my marriage.

BPOV

The past few days have been hell. I learned from Rose that night that Edward was now staying with his parents. We hadn't talked at all. He left me voice mail messages, but I couldn't listen to them. He sent texts, but I immediately deleted them. He sent flowers, which I turned and threw in the garbage. I might be being harsh, but damn it, I'm hurt.

I walked into the diner and found Esme sitting alone by the window. She called me this morning and asked me to have lunch with her. I knew I couldn't ignore her forever so I reluctantly agreed. I honestly don't know why I am scared to talk to Esme. I did nothing wrong.

"Bella," she said, standing up and hugging me. I hugged her tightly and held back the tears that threatened to fall. We released each other and both sat down at the table.

"How have you been Sweetheart?" she asked me, grabbing my hand that was now placed flat on the table. I squeezed her hand as the tears I had been fighting hard to hold back fell.

"Not good, Esme. Not good at all," I told her honestly. I knew she had probably heard Edward's point of view of the whole situation. But she had asked me here for lunch, to hear mine I was sure.

We ordered our lunch when the waitress came over and sat quietly for a few minutes. I fiddled with my purse nervously wondering which of us would start the conversation. Once the waitress brought our food I figured I was safe, for now, but Esme had other ideas.

"Bella, as you know, Edward has been staying with us the past few days. I have heard his side of the story and frankly, I am disappointed in him. But, I do know there are two sides to this whole thing. And I know you have talked to Rose and Alice about this, but I was wondering if maybe you needed a motherly view of this. Someone with, maybe, more experience." She smiled slightly at me and I couldn't help but smile back.

"Esme, I'm not sure I should talk to you about this. I mean, he's your son," I said, taking a sip of my drink.

"I know he's my son, but today, I am here as your friend. I know this is something you would have probably gone to your mother about. But since you can't do that, I was hoping that maybe you would want to talk to me," she spoke softly to me.

I knew that I needed to talk to her. She wanted to hear my view and I was more than willing to give it to her.

"So, he told you everything? You know he was speaking to Tanya for weeks about Lizzie without telling me? Meeting her at the coffee shop for their chats?" I asked her, not realizing the anger in my voice.

"Yes, Bella, he told his father and me everything," she said, as she began to eat her lunch. I suddenly lost my appetite, thinking of the situation.

"I do believe him Esme. I know that he wasn't sleeping with her. But the fact that he decided to share his feelings with another woman, whether she was a doctor or not, hurts me. And the fact that he did that in a very unprofessional setting only adds to that. Did you know that the whole hospital thinks they are having an affair?" I asked her.

"Yes. Carlisle mentioned that to me the other night. Believe me Bella; Edward is very remorseful for what he did. He knows that he should have told you he was talking to Tanya. He's been moping around the house. He isn't eating. He is hardly sleeping. Have you talked to him at all in the past few days?"

"He has called plenty of times, left plenty of messages but I haven't spoken with him. I don't know if I can," I told her. I wasn't sure if I was ready to talk to him without the anger taking over.

"Bella, you want to save your marriage right?" she asked me honestly.

"Yes, Esme. I love Edward so much. But that doesn't mean that what he did doesn't hurt. It wasn’t that he was talking to her about Lizzie that hurt so much or that fact that he was talking to her, what hurt the most was the way he looked at her. He smiled when he was with her, he was happy and I saw the Edward I once knew before this happened. Not only that, Esme, he lied to me about it and when I would ask him to go see someone with me he was an ass about it. I do believe that your son is sorry but that doesn't excuse the lies and the sneaking around and the emails or text messages, it does not excuse what he did.” I pushed my plate in front of me, my appetite long gone.

Esme, was silent for a few moments. I could see her eyes glistening and I knew what I said made some sense to her.

"Bella, would you please think about talking to him? I know that the two of you need to discuss this and both of you hiding out, is not going to help the situation at all."

I didn’t say anything. She finished up her food and paid the bill and we both stood up to leave. She hugged me tightly and whispered in my ear.

"Please sweetheart. I haven't seen him this broken since he lost Lizzie. I think he thinks he's losing you too." Tears slowly fell down my face as I watched her walk from the diner. I gathered my things and walked out to my car.

I knew I needed to talk to my husband. We needed to talk about this. I didn't want to lose him. I had lost too many things in my life and I didn't want him to be one of them.

I sat in my car for a few moments and let all the frustration I had been holding in the past few days go. I picked up my phone and dialed.

"Hello," he said. The sound of his voice nearly broke me.

"Edward....."