Chapter Nine

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or its characters. They belong to Stephenie Meyer.



EPOV

I woke up to a very loud alarm clock. Slamming on the device, I groaned and sat up. I probably stayed out a little later than I should have last night. Tanya and I had began talking about the dreams I'd been having lately. Most of them focused on Lizzie and Bella. In the one dream that stuck out most, Lizzie, Bella and I were walking along the beach. Lizzie was standing in between Bella and I. Lizzie let go of both of our hands and suddenly disappeared. Bella and I just took each others hands and kept walking. Then, Bella would let go of my hand and disappear. Every time I had this dream, I would wake up sweating and breathing heavily. Tanya explained that it was probably my guilt manifesting itself in my unconscious state. She’d been trying to get me to talk with Bella and after a few meetings with her, she had suggested that I do go see someone with Bella. I usually blew it off. I was so afraid to admit that I did this to us, that I broke our family that I let Lizzie down.

I rolled over to watch Bella sleep for a few minutes before getting in the shower. But when I faced the other side of the bed, it was empty. I got out of bed and walked quietly into the hallway. I noticed Lizzie's bedroom door was open so I stepped inside. Bella laid bundled up on the tiny twin size bed. She clutched one of the stuffed animals Lizzie loved so much. She was whimpering in her sleep. I only caught a few words, but the ones I did catch practically broke my heart.

Lizzie.

Edward.

Don't leave me.

I bent down beside the bed and brushed a stray hair away from her face. I knelt there and watched her sleep for as long as I could, shower be damned. Once I realized that I had to immediately get dressed and leave for work, I leaned over and gently kissed her forehead. "Baby, I am so sorry for not saving her. I wish every day that I could have been there for you, for her. I will never forgive myself for that." I let my hand linger a bit on her cheek but then pulled away to go and get ready for work.

~*~*~*~

The drive into work was exhausting. Usually, I have my morning shower to wake me up, but I spent that fifteen minutes watching my wife sleep. Once I entered the room this morning, she seemed to calm down a bit and actually sleep peacefully for once. I pulled into my parking spot and made my way inside the hospital.

I noticed some of the nurses at the registration desk whispering back and forth and wondered what new gossip was going around the hospital now. I said hello to some colleagues and made my way to my office.

Sitting my things on my desk, I noticed a post-it note attached to my phone. I picked it up and read it.

Edward~

Meet me in my office as soon as you arrive this morning. I have an important matter I need to discuss with you.

Carlisle

I sighed and ran my fingers nervously through my hair. I wondered what on Earth was so important that my father wanted to see me in his office first thing. I ran many of the cases that I had worked on in the past few days through my head and nothing immediately jumped out at me in my memory. I was going to have to go to his office to see what he wanted.

I grabbed my coffee that I had gotten at the cafe earlier and made my way to my father's office. When I got to the door, I gently knocked and he told me to come inside.

"You asked to see me first thing this morning?" I told him, taking a seat in one of the chairs across from his desk. He closed his laptop and finally looked up at me.

"Yeah, I did son," he told me, and that was completely unusual. Usually, when we are at work, I am Edward or maybe even Dr. Cullen. He didn't make it a habit to call me son at work at all to keep from being accused of showing favortism, "so, you have anything you need to tell me about? Anything you want to talk about?"

What the hell was he getting at?

"What are you talking about Dad? I am not sure I understand?" I told him honestly.

"I am just giving you a chance to tell me yourself. I have heard some things around the hospital and I want to give you a chance to come clean to me yourself," He told me, giving me his full, undivided attention.

"Well, Dad, if I knew what the hell you were talking about, maybe I could tell you something. But until then, I have no idea what you are talking about." He stood up, placed his palms flat on the desk and leaned over towards me.

"Fine. You don't want to tell me on your own. I will just come out with it and ask you. I was just wondering when you were going to tell me you are having an affair?"

"What the fuck are you talking about? I am not having an affair!" I stood up from my seat and yelled at him.

"First off, watch your damn mouth at me, son. I might be your father, but I am your boss in this hospital and you will speak to me with respect. Secondly, it is all over this hospital that you have been seen on numerous occasions leaving the premises with some unknown woman. Everyone around here knows Bella and knows that the woman you have been seen with is definitely not her. You have been seen at the coffee shop across the street plenty of times, by plenty of people, so don't try and tell me that nothing is going on." I stood up and began to pace the floor.

"I am not having a fucking affair! People are so damned ridiculous and need to mind their own fucking business. Ta-, I mean, Dr. Hunter and I have been together a few times to get coffee. That is it! Nothing beyond that has happened!" I was furious right now. People just didn't know how to keep their god damn mouths shut. Now, my family is going to find out that I have been talking to a therapist and will want me to discuss any progress I have made. I am not ready for them to know this yet.

"So this woman, she is a doctor? How have I never heard of her before?" he asked me, clearly not believing a word I had said.

"Yes, she is a doctor. She is new in town and hasn't gotten around to getting a job in the area yet." I couldn't tell him what it was Tanya did or he would figure out why I was talking with her.

"Just answer one question for me Edward," my dad said, looking me straight in the eyes, "Are you sleeping with this woman, this Dr. Hunter?"

What!?!?

"I can't believe you're asking me this question. I am your son, for God's sake. You should trust me enough when I tell you that I am not having an affair that I'm telling you the truth. You know what, fuck it. I'm not going to answer it. If I was, it sure as hell wouldn't be anyone in this hospital's business, including you!" I yelled at him, before walking out the door.

BPOV

I slept horribly last night. I kept having these horrible dreams. First, Lizzie would disappear. Then Edward would. I would scream and beg him not to leave me, but he would vanish. All I could think about were those damn text messages before falling asleep last night so I am sure that was the cause of the nightmares.

I debated all day at work whether or not to check the computer at home for emails between Tanya and Edward. I knew it would be invading his privacy but I had to know. I finally decided on the drive home, that I was going to do it. I prayed to God that there weren't any but deep down, I knew there would be.

I walked inside our office and sat down in front of the computer. I fidgeted with my hands while waiting for the page to load. I typed in Edward's email and password and hit enter. His inbox loaded and I was immediately bombarded with emails from tdhunter to Edward. Edward hadn't even erased any of them. He obviously hadn't been expecting me to check his email account. I briefly wondered if I should be doing this but went ahead and clicked the most recent one sent.

To: EACullen

From:tdhunter

Subject: Missed you!

Hey, sorry we couldn't meet up yesterday. I was so worried about you. Glad we decided to meet today instead. See you after your shift.

Tanya

I closed that one and picked another random email.

To: EACullen

From: tdhunter

Subject: Happy to Help

I am so glad to here that I helped you out after your shift yesterday. Anytime you need me, you know I will be there.

Tanya

The more I read, the angrier I got. I decided to open up an email that Edward had sent Tanya.

To: tdhunter

From: EACullen

Subject: Thanks

I just want to thank you again for helping me out. You have been a real life saver. I can't imagine where I would be right now without you in my life. I'll see you on Tuesday

Edward

I closed the email and shut the computer down. I couldn't stand anymore. Edward had obviously found someone that he wanted to share his life with more than me. I guess I would just have to accept that. But I will be damned if I am letting him ruin our marriage without a fight.

I stormed downstairs and began pacing. I knew I was going to have to confront him about this tonight. The longer I sat and thought about it, the angrier I got.

I heard Edward's car pull up a few minutes later. He was earlier tonight so he obviously didn't have plans with her after work. He came in and tossed his keys on the table and placed his jacket and briefcase on the chair. He walked into the living room and noticed me on the couch.

"Hey," he said, sitting down beside me, "did you have a good day at work?" I kept staring at his face. How on earth could he be so nonchalant about ruining his marriage. I decided to just get it over with.

"How long?" I asked him, not explaining any further. I figured he would know immediately what I was talking about. It wasn't hard to figure out what was going on with the way he had been acting lately. I wondered just how stupid he thought I was.

"How long, what, Bella?" He looked at me, totally confused. I stared at his face blankly. When I wouldn't speak, he shook his head. "Look, I had a rough day at work and I just really want to get a shower and relax." He stood up and began to make his way to the stairs.

"Tanya." He stopped walking and turned around to face me. He tried to cover up the shock on his face but not before I caught site of it. He knew he had been caught.

"Tanya? Who's Tanya?" he asked me. I noticed his Adam's apple bob in his throat, he swallowed so hard. He should know better than to try and hid things from me. We had been together too long.

"Don't give me that bullshit," I yelled at him, standing up from the couch, "Don't stand there and act like you don't know what the fuck I'm talking about Edward! How long have you been seeing Tanya? How long has this been going on right under my nose? " I stood my ground, staring at him, waiting for him to give me an answer. He looked back at me, clearly defeated.

"It started a few weeks ago," he said quietly and then looked at me and wrinkled his brow. "How did you find out anyway?"

"Does it fucking matter how I found out? All that matters is that I did find out! I am asking the questions here. So what do you do, meet at the coffee shop, talk for a bit then go back to her place? Or do you rent a room some where? Or maybe you bring her here or to your car? Or maybe even take her back to your office? Because you obviously don't give a damn about who sees you!" I was furious now. I am sure the neighbors could probably hear me yelling at him but right now I really didn't care.

"Wait, WHAT? Bella, I think you have this all wrong. I have been talking to Tanya about Lizzie." He stood up and walked over to me. I flinched back from his touch. I really didn't want him anywhere near me right now.

"DO NOT TOUCH ME! What do you mean you have been talking to her about Lizzie?" Up until now, I had just been angry. But at the mention of Lizzie's name, I began to cry.

"I meet with her a couple of times a week and we just talk. She lost her child in a tragedy like me and she has helped me out a lot in the past couple of weeks. I don't know where I would be right now if it weren't for her." He was running his hands through his hair as he paced our living room floor. I stopped and just stared at him, not believing what he had just told me.

"So what, you two fell in love and started fucking each other to heal? Is that what you are trying to tell me?" I screamed at him, through my tears. He stopped pacing and looked at me, his eyes narrowed and his jaw clenched.

"God dammit, Bella, I'm not fucking her! I am not cheating on you! " he yelled at me. We stood in front of each other, no more than a foot between us, but I felt as if we were miles apart. I looked into his eyes and I knew he wasn't lying. And then it hit me. Edward wasn't fucking Tanya. But he was sharing a part of himself that he no longer shared with me. His thoughts, his feelings, his emotions. They belonged to her now, not me. He no longer shared those with me.

"You may not be fucking her, but you are definitely cheating on me." I told him, shaking my head back and forth, still crying.

"Bella, what the fuck are you talking about? I told you, I am not sleeping with her," he told me, reaching out to touch me. I stepped back again before he could touch me.

"Edward, have you ever heard of the concept of emotional affairs? That is exactly what you are doing with Tanya," I told him, as I looked out the window, " No, you might not be fucking her, but you are sharing a part of yourself with her. A part that you no longer share with me. You are talking to her about our daughter, Edward, OUR daughter. Something that you should be able to share with me. Something I have begged you to talk to me about." I turned around to face him now, tears falling down my face. When he didn't say anything I sat down on the couch and put my head in my hands and sobbed. I felt the couch give when he sat down beside me.

"Bella, that is completely stupid. I am not having an affair of any kind with Tanya. We are just friends. I don't know where you came up with this shit, but it is ridiculous." He tried to put his arm around me but I slid over, away from him. I could see the hurt in his eyes when I wouldn't let him touch me but I couldn't find it in me right now to care.

"Baby, you gotta believe me. We're just friends. That's all. I would never cheat on you. You have to know that. Especially not now." I looked up at his face and I could see the tears in his eyes.

"Edward, I do believe that you aren't screwing her. But that fact doesn't make it hurt any less. You are sharing something with her that I have tried for weeks to get you to share with me. Do you know how bad it kills me that you went to a total stranger for that comfort and not me, your own wife? I’ve been trying to get that comfort for weeks. At least I’m seeing someone legit. I’m making the effort, for both of us and I’ve tried to get you to make the effort with me. I’m happy you’re getting the help you need, but you lied about it, you hid it, you made an emotional connection with this woman and left me in the dark.” When he didn't say anything, I had finally had enough. I was exhausted and I couldn't handle another minute with him right now.

"Get out." I told him, standing from the couch and folding my arms in front of my chest. He looked at me confused.

"Bella..." he said, but I interrupted him.

"Please, Edward," I begged him. My body began to tremble as the tears continued to fall.

"Baby, don't do this..." he said, inching closer.

"Get out!" I said, a little louder this time. He tried to step even closer to me, reaching his arm out.

"We need to talk...." he tried again.

"I said get the fuck out!" I screamed at him, pointing toward the door. He stumbled backwards a bit, shocked at my outburst. He realized I wasn't going to back down and nodded his head, stepping away from me.

"Let me just go grab some things and I'll leave." He said, before turning to walk upstairs. I sat back down on the couch and just stared at nothing really.

A few minutes later, Edward cleared his throat, alerting me of his presence in the doorway. I looked up at him and waited for him to speak.

"I called Emmett. I'm gonna stay there tonight. If you need anything, just call me. I know you don't like to stay here by yourself. Just, if you need someone, call me, Please," he said.

I stood up and walked past him, making my way up stairs. I walked into our bedroom and leaned up against the wall right by the door. A few moments later, I heard the front door shut and I slid down the wall and burst into another round of tears.